\u201cJackie, that\u2019s my daughter\u2019s name. She just left for college in Europe. Wasn\u2019t half a decade before we were best buddies, her in middle school, me working 20 hour weeks. That\u2019s the time every kid starts to beat her dad at everything. Always been giving her sports to play and riddles to solve. First to the top of the tree, fastest to eat a hamburger, how much wood can a woodchuck chuck\u2026 or like this one I made up, as we sat watching the San Antonio River outside our house back in Floresville:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cHey, Jackie. You see that shadow of the tree on the water? Is the shadow moving?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jackie smiled. \u201cOf course not! The river is moving, but the shadow isn\u2019t. Easy trick question.\u201d She threw a pebble into the river, and it passed right through the tree trunk.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I smiled back. \u201cWrong. It is moving. Because the sun is moving. All shadows move, just very slowly.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Jackie\u2019s smile changed into a sneer. \u201cThat was a trick-trick question.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Teenagers hate being trick-tricked. Especially when the trick is slowness, since as far as she was concerned the world wasn\u2019t spinning fast enough. Soon enough the time came that she started solving my riddles, throwing the football farther, eating more hamburgers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We set up an obstacle course in the yard with tires, ladders, and took turns completing it as fast as possible, while the other timed with my wristwatch. Jackie went first and finished it in 55 seconds. Then I went. I stumbled to the finish, touching the wall of our house and nearly smashing a hole in it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cGeez Louise!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201c56 seconds!\u201d Jackie yelped.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWait,\u201d I huffed. \u201cThat can\u2019t be. I was counting in my head, I got 55.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNo. I got the watch. I was counting ticks, and I got 56 ticks.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Well, here was an old man\u2019s moment to prove he was still smarter than his kid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cThat\u2019s wrong, Jac. A second is the amount of time in between ticks. So if you counted 56 ticks, that means 55 seconds.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNo, you\u2019re wrong, dad. The seconds are the ticks!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWhat, you think that a second is the amount of time it takes for the hand to jump from one tick to the next? Those don\u2019t matter. We count the pauses in between those, in between the jumps.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But she wasn\u2019t hearing me. \u201cIt\u2019s the total opposite! A second is the time it takes the hand to jump from one tick to the next.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cCome on, Jackie, you know that\u2019s not true. Look for yourself.\u201d I showed her the watch.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cYeah! One, two, three\u2026 that\u2019s the seconds! You\u2019re just being a sore loser.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We went back and forth for another five minutes. She went inside. Normally she\u2019d come around by dinnertime, but this one got her goat for the rest of they day. Next thing I knew she started high school, outside town, came home every day with hours of homework, weekends she spent with new friends, boyfriends, then summer camps. That was really the last summer we spent together. Though I\u2019m sure she forgot that argument completely, I still shouldn\u2019t\u2019ve used the word true<\/em> with her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n When she left I suddenly had so much free time I thought the world stopped spinning. Surely your folks had the same, huh? What\u2019s a man like me to do, aside from take a trip somewhere? Came here, sent my ex-wife an email, tried to see if she still lived here. But she never answered. One day my legs couldn\u2019t take the walking no more and I just collapsed onto a bench in front of a church. There was a park behind me and kids were playin\u2019. Above the entry to the church, where you normally got a stained glass window, there was a big round carving, of one of those Aztec Gods. Body of a snake, head of a man, wrapped in a spiral, and the scales of the snake body had letters or numbers next to \u2018em. In the middle of the spiral there was a metal rod stickin\u2019 straight out. Then outta nowhere a man walks up to me holding a plastic chain and starts to talkin\u2019 in Spanish about some trick he was gonna do, and raising his eyebrows at me, and I had to tell him no thank you \u2018bout five times before he left. I fell asleep for a while. When I woke up I had no idea what time it was, till I looked up at the church. The shadow of the metal rod had moved from one scale on the snake body to another. By God, I realized I was lookin\u2019 at a sundial. That\u2019s when I realized that Jackie was right. We were both right. Some clocks got jumpin\u2019 hands, and a second is the pause between jumps, but some clocks got smooth movin\u2019 hands, like that sundial, and a second is the slow jump from one tick to the next. A second is the jump.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u201cJackie, that\u2019s my daughter\u2019s name. She just left for college in Europe. Wasn\u2019t half a decade before we were best buddies, her in middle school, me working 20 hour weeks. That\u2019s the time every kid starts to beat her dad at everything. Always been giving her sports to play and riddles to solve. First to…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":405,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[34],"tags":[477,346,35],"class_list":["post-263","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fiction","tag-aztec","tag-clocks","tag-time"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ivanhimanen.com\/crisesofdocumentation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/263","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ivanhimanen.com\/crisesofdocumentation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ivanhimanen.com\/crisesofdocumentation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ivanhimanen.com\/crisesofdocumentation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ivanhimanen.com\/crisesofdocumentation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=263"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/ivanhimanen.com\/crisesofdocumentation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/263\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1772,"href":"https:\/\/ivanhimanen.com\/crisesofdocumentation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/263\/revisions\/1772"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ivanhimanen.com\/crisesofdocumentation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/405"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ivanhimanen.com\/crisesofdocumentation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=263"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ivanhimanen.com\/crisesofdocumentation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=263"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ivanhimanen.com\/crisesofdocumentation\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=263"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}